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  • Carson Hathaway

How to find who you truly are.

Updated: Oct 25

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Who am I?”. This can be a very hard question to answer because most of our thoughts and actions are a product of what we've seen and been told. However, as we age, we get the power and ability to make decisions for ourselves and become independent. Here's how you can find who you truly are.



  1. Get rid of all your "distractions".


Turn off the news. Stop watching sports. Stop paying attention to things that have no influence on your life. Initially, ignoring the news and events in the world could be viewed as a crazy idea. However, the majority of the things presented in the news revolve around drama and negativity. You probably tell yourself you listen to the news because you want to be “informed” about what’s happening in the world. Bullshit. I’d be willing to bet that you’re secretly just interested in consuming all that drama and negativity. Those are the things that naturally consume the attention of humans. That isn’t a good thing. As for sports, they can be very entertaining. Despite that, do you really want to invest so much time and energy into multi-millionaire athletes who don't even know you exist? Don’t have your mood so highly affected by things that you have no influence on. You find out a lot about yourself when there’s nothing to distract you.

2. Question your daily habits.


Why is your hair the way it is? Why do you dress the way that you do? What are your hobbies and why do you enjoy them? Do you truly like and enjoy being around your friend group? Are your daily habits a mirror of your authentic self or are they a product of everyone else around you? The only way to answer these questions is by self-reflecting and spending lots of time alone. Initially, spending time alone will make you feel lonely but it will help you in the long-run. Remember, the person that you spend the most time with is yourself. Your relationship with yourself is undoubtedly your most important relationship. To improve that relationship, you need to spend time alone. By doing so, you will either:


Replace your old habits with better ones.

Or

Develop a new appreciation for your current habits.

3. Try new things.


You’ve likely only been exposed to so many things. Hopefully you’ve found a passion or two from all your life experiences so far. It’s important to find things you're passionate about because they can help you find your purpose and define who you really are. You know how you can find more things to be passionate about? By exposing yourself to new experiences. I did that and eventually developed a strong interest in personal development and self-help. My interest in self-help is self explanatory. Who wouldn't want to consume and practice things that help themselves?


This sucks to say, but many of the occurrences that happen in our lives are uneventful. We see and spend time around the same people every day. Many of us go to the same job every day. Despite those things, we can make our lives more interesting by finding more things that entertain us. Many of our current hobbies and interests are a product of the people we’ve grown up with and spent time around. By branching out, you can find your true interests and who you really are.


Best selling author John Mason wrote a book with the title: You're born an original. Don't die a copy. It’s paramount you make sure that all your beliefs and habits aren’t a product of everything you’ve been seen or told. By focusing on yourself, questioning your current routine, and trying new things, you will find who you truly are.

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